068: "The Dangerous Difference Between Expectations And Standards" ft. Sandy Cohan
In this powerful conversation, Erik sits down with mindset coach and author Sandy Cohan to dig into what grit really is—and what it definitely isn’t. From youth sports to corporate leadership, Sandy breaks down the habits, standards, and mental frameworks that shape resilient, high-performing individuals. Whether you're raising a gritty kid or trying to become a more disciplined leader yourself, this episode will shift how you think about perseverance, pressure, and personal development.
👤 About the Guest
Sandy Cohan is a mindset development coach, speaker, and the author of 99 Rules Every Athlete Needs to Know and 99 Rules Every Sports Parent Needs to Know. A former high-level athlete turned educator, Sandy helps athletes, parents, and professionals develop the habits and belief systems that fuel performance under pressure. His work emphasizes grit, discipline, and leadership—on and off the field.
🧭 Conversation Highlights
- Why grit isn’t about intensity, but consistency and belief
- How youth sports reveal (and build) character
- The dangerous difference between expectations and standards
- Why “fun” and “development” aren’t the same thing in sports (or work)
- Coaching advice for leaders: don’t expect excellence—teach it
💡 Key Takeaways
- Grit is built, not born—it’s the sum of belief, purpose, and perseverance.
- Control, impact, or let it go—everything falls into one of these three buckets.
- The best leaders and athletes succeed by focusing on controllables, not outcomes.
- Standards are internal, expectations are external—and excellence lives in standards.
- Great leaders are made through repetition, reflection, and uncomfortable conversations.
❓ Questions That Mattered
- What actually builds grit in a person?
- How do kids learn to handle loss in a healthy way?
- Are youth sports about fun, development, or competition—and can it be all three?
- Why do so many leaders struggle to enforce standards?
- What does it mean to lead with both love and the sword?
🗣️ Notable Quotes
“It’s never about the fall—it’s always about the rise.” — Sandy Cohan
“Confidence is what you see above the ground. Belief is the roots underneath.” — Sandy Cohan
“Most kids don’t need to be protected from failure. They need to be taught how to rise.” — Sandy Cohan
“The behavior tolerated becomes the behavior encouraged.” — Sandy Cohan
“Leadership isn’t a title. It’s influencing someone toward an advantage.” — Erik Berglund
🔗 Links & Resources
- Sandy's Website: sandycohan.com
- Books:
- 99 Rules Every Athlete Needs to Know. Check it out here.
- 99 Rules Every Sports Parent Needs to Know. Check it out here.
