041: “How Do You Lead When You’re Still Healing?” ft. Troy Karnes

In this raw and revealing conversation, Erik sits down with entrepreneur and systems thinker Troy Karnes to explore what happens when your ambition starts to burn you out — and how to rebuild from the inside out. They dig into the identity loops that trap high performers, the hard cost of playing it safe, and what it means to take control of your own narrative when life no longer fits the script.

👤 About the Guest

Troy Karnes is a performance-driven entrepreneur and coach who has worked across industries — from real estate to systems architecture — helping people build better companies and more authentic lives. Known for his sharp insight, radical candor, and lived experience in transformation, Troy brings a level of clarity and courage to the leadership conversation that’s refreshingly rare.

🧭 Conversation Highlights

• Troy’s story of walking away from the house, the job, and the life that no longer aligned
• Why performance identity feels safe — but keeps you stuck
• The hard-earned shift from “success metrics” to “alignment metrics”
• Learning to trust your intuition before it costs too much to ignore it
• What happens when you stop trying to build faster and start asking better questions

💡 Key Takeaways

• Numbing out is not neutral. When you avoid the discomfort of misalignment, you stay stuck in roles that aren’t yours.
• Control is an illusion. The goal isn’t to control outcomes — it’s to own your input and make peace with uncertainty.
• Saying no is an identity decision. Every "no" is an opportunity to clarify who you actually are.
• Performance is a shield. But behind every over-performer is someone afraid of what happens when they slow down.
• True ambition requires honesty. Not just with others — with yourself.

❓ Questions That Mattered

• Where did the identity you were living come from — and how did you know it was time to rewrite it?
• What do you think most high performers are actually afraid of?
• What role has faith or spirituality played in your leadership journey?
• How do you discern between a real “no” and fear in disguise?

🗣️ Notable Quotes

“There’s a cost to not listening to your intuition. Eventually, that bill comes due.” — Troy Karnes

“I realized I was addicted to performance, not progress.” — Troy Karnes

“If the goal is alignment, you’ll start making different decisions. Scarier ones. Better ones.” — Troy Karnes

🔗 Links & Resources

• Visit Troy’s website troykarnes.com
• Find Troy’s book “No Silver Bullets” on Amazon here