040: What Do You Do When Your Team Thinks You Don’t Deserve the Job?

In this episode, Erik breaks down how to earn trust, build consensus, and handle the uncomfortable conversations that come with stepping into leadership when the room isn’t exactly rooting for you.

❓ The Big Question

How do you earn trust and lead effectively when your team believes someone else should have gotten your job?

💡 Key Takeaways

• You don’t owe anyone an explanation for why you got promoted—stop trying to justify it.
• Trust is earned daily, not given with the title.
• Ideas are easy; execution with people is the hard part.
• Building consensus doesn’t mean everyone agrees—it means people feel heard.
• Difficult conversations get easier when you’ve agreed upfront on “rules of engagement.”

🧠 Concepts, Curves, and Frameworks

• Earn, Don’t Explain → Drop the impulse to validate why you were chosen.
• Consensus vs. Compliance → Build buy-in by involving people early.
• Rules of Engagement → Ask your team how they want feedback, accountability, and tough conversations handled.
• Celebrate, Then Lead → Recognize the win, but quickly shift to responsibility.

🔁 Real-Life Reflections

• Erik shares the painful mistake he made after his own promotion—spending years trying to prove he was the right choice instead of simply leading.
• A story of a CEO who won long-term trust by listening for months before making changes.
• A reminder that it’s never too late, even if you’ve been in the role for years, to go back and ask your team the questions that establish trust.

🧰 Put This Into Practice

• Schedule one conversation this week to ask a direct report:
  • What’s working for you here?
  • What’s not working?
  • How do you prefer to receive feedback?
  • How do you want to be held accountable?
• Pick one difficult conversation you know is coming. Use the “rules of engagement” to frame it.
• If you’ve been leading for a while, re-open the door with a simple apology: “I should have asked you these things earlier. Can I ask them now?”

🗣️ Favorite Quotes

• “You don’t owe anybody an answer—you literally didn’t hire yourself.”
• “The ideas are simple. The hard part is leading people to execute those ideas.”
• “Consensus isn’t about everyone agreeing—it’s about everyone feeling heard.”
• “Trust is earned when people see their input mattered, even if the final decision wasn’t theirs.”