097: "Why Saying 'I Messed Up' is Actually a Superpower" ft. Alli Murphy
In this episode, Erik and Alli take on a vulnerable leadership dilemma: what do you do when you are the one who needs to change—but your team already knows the old version of you? From elephants in the room to scones and sandboxes, they unpack the real tension of evolving your leadership style when everyone’s already formed their expectations. This one’s filled with practical scripts, funny stories, and coaching-rich insight for anyone navigating growth in real-time.
🧭 Conversation Highlights
- Why change feels awkward—for you and your team
- What to say when you’re evolving your leadership approach
- The power of naming the elephant in the room (and apologizing when necessary)
- How to ask your team to hold you accountable when you slip
- Using backchannels (like Slack) to support your team without undermining them
- Why change doesn’t need to be perfect—it just needs two seconds of courage
💡 Key Takeaways
- Transparency builds trust. If you’re shifting your leadership style, don’t make your team guess—tell them why and what’s changing.
- Apologizing isn’t weakness—it’s leadership. Owning your past patterns models the growth mindset you want from your team.
- Pre-agree on signals. Don’t just say “I’m stepping back.” Clarify how your team can let you know if you slip back into old habits.
- You don’t have to be perfect—just human. Let the discomfort of change be part of your leadership narrative, not a hidden shame.
- Support can be silent. Use subtle tools like private Slack messages to coach without hijacking the spotlight.
❓ Questions That Mattered
- How do you earn your team’s trust after you’ve done it the old way for years?
- What role does vulnerability play in resetting leadership patterns?
- When should you name the elephant in the room—and how?
- How do you avoid over-correcting when stepping back?
- What’s a healthy way to invite feedback when you’re trying to change?
🗣️ Notable Quotes
“If you're asking your team to change with you, admit where you went wrong. It builds trust and momentum.” —Alli
“Sometimes the most powerful thing you can do is say: I messed up. And here's how I want to do it differently.” —Erik
“Change doesn’t need to be perfect—it just needs two seconds of courage.” —Erik
“Tell me to get out of your sandbox. I’ll go vacate the premises.” —Alli
“Leadership is about evolving out loud. Let your people see that process—it gives them permission to grow too.” —Erik
🔗 Links & Resources
