076: What Actually Builds Trust in a Team? (It’s Not What You Think)

In this episode, Erik unpacks one of the most overused and under-examined words in leadership: trust. But instead of vague advice, he gives a direct, no-fluff framework for how to build trust that actually scales — across teams, organizations, and even families. He breaks it down into three specific behaviors that any leader can start modeling today. This is an episode for leaders ready to stop guessing and start earning trust that lasts.

❓ The Big Question

How do you build real trust in a team — not just hope for it?

💡 Key Takeaways

• Trust breaks down when leaders don’t know what their real job is.
• Two non-negotiables for any leader: hold people accountable and develop their talent.
• How you handle stress and failure shows people what kind of leader you really are.
• Confidentiality is a secret superpower for building trust — or destroying it.
• “Nice” doesn’t build trust — consistency does.

🧠 Concepts, Curves, and Frameworks

🔹 The Trust-Building Trio

1. Know Your Real Job
   • Your job as a leader isn’t to be liked — it’s to:
     • Hold people accountable to a high standard.
     • Develop their talent in ways that help them grow.
   • Leaders who avoid both? They lose trust fast.
2. Show How You Handle Stress + Failure
   • Do you own mistakes?
   • Do you react or respond?
   • Do you show up consistently under pressure?
   • People trust leaders whose emotional posture is predictable in the tough moments.
3. Protect Confidentiality, Uphold Respect
   • Leaders who gossip, vent, or complain downward erode trust instantly.
   • Don’t pretend everything’s perfect — just don’t turn your team into your therapist.
   • Call a ball a ball, and a strike a strike — but do it with integrity.

🔁 Real-Life Reflections

• Teams with low trust protect themselves — not the mission.
• You’ve probably worked for the “too nice” boss who avoids accountability — and felt unsafe because of it.
• Every leader builds trust — or breaks it — with how they respond to conflict and pressure.
• You’re always modeling behavior: if you gossip down the chain, your team will too.

🧰 Put This Into Practice

• ✅ Ask yourself: Am I holding everyone (including myself) to a high standard?
• 🧭 In your next 1:1, ask “What skills do you want to grow this year — and how can I support that?”
• 🔍 Watch how you respond to stress: document it, reflect, and adjust.
• 🤐 When tempted to vent down, stop — and find a peer, coach, or journal instead.
• ✍️ Write down how you define leadership trust — then hold yourself to that.

🗣️ Favorite Quotes

“Nice isn’t what builds trust. Consistency does.”

“The best leaders don’t just hold others accountable — they hold themselves to the same standard.”

“If you’re complaining about someone to your team, your team assumes you’re doing the same about them.”

“When leaders avoid stress, they create it for everyone else.”

“You don’t have to be perfect. But you do have to be predictable.”