045: "Why Asking for Help Builds More Trust Than Giving Answers" (lessons from Jake Stahl)

After sitting down with Jake Stahl, Erik reflects on the biggest insights from their conversation about neuro-strategy, influence, and the subtle ways leaders can shape trust. He pulls forward Jake’s key practices and maps them onto his own curiosity-driven approach to leadership and coaching.

🎯 Top Insights from the Interview

• Preparation shapes influence: First impressions begin long before the first handshake or Zoom call—your digital presence and prep work matter.
• Ask for input as a gift: Seeking advice or perspective triggers the same positive biological response as giving someone a treat.
• Paraphrasing as mastery: Advanced validation means not just repeating what someone said, but adding an empathetic inference that deepens connection.
• Avoid “Why?” in conversations: While powerful internally, asking “why” often provokes defensiveness in dialogue.

🧩 The Personal Layer

• Erik imagines treating every interaction like handing someone a brownie—a playful but profound metaphor for leaving people feeling valued.
• He notices how much Jake’s methods align with the ethos of I Have Some Questions—that the right framing of curiosity can transform any exchange.
• The idea that “why” can shut people down made Erik rethink his own instinctive questioning style.

🧰 From Insight to Action

• Audit your LinkedIn profile or digital footprint—what impression are you creating before you even meet someone?
• In your next conversation, ask for help or input as a way to build trust.
• Practice paraphrasing with inference: go one step deeper than what’s said.
• Swap “why” questions for validating restatements that move dialogue forward.

 🗣️ Notable Quotes

• “Every person you meet should feel like you just gave them a brownie.” – Erik’s reflection on Jake’s insight
• “First impressions are built before the first words are spoken.” – Erik
• “The power of a question isn’t always in the question—it’s in how you reframe what you’ve already heard.” – Erik