Erik unpacks the art and science of giving feedback that doesn’t just land—but transforms. Drawing from leadership trenches, he challenges the old “feedback sandwich” cliché and lays out a sharper, more human way to communicate with clarity, care, and conviction.

❓ The Big Question

How do you give feedback that someone can truly hear—without defensiveness, confusion, or dismissal—and actually use it to grow?

💡 Key Takeaways

• Feedback fails when it’s vague, sugarcoated, or disconnected from reality.
• The goal isn’t to deliver feedback—it’s to create change.
• Specificity and timing matter more than frequency.
• Feedback is relational—it’s not a monologue, it’s a conversation.
• Courage + clarity = feedback people act on.

🧠 Concepts, Curves, and Frameworks

• The Feedback Sandwich Trap: Why padding critique with empty praise backfires.
• Signal vs. Noise: Distinguishing what’s truly actionable from emotional clutter.
• The Clarity Curve: The sharper your message, the quicker the change.
• Feedback as Coaching: Shifting from “I’m judging you” to “I’m in it with you.”

🔁 Real-Life Reflections

• Times when leaders thought they were being “kind” but actually created confusion.
• Moments where one direct, well-timed comment changed an entire career trajectory.
• How Erik himself has had to learn to say the thing out loud even when it’s uncomfortable.

🧰 Put This Into Practice

• Drop the “feedback sandwich.” Say the real thing with care.
• Anchor your feedback in observable behavior, not assumptions about intent.
• Ask yourself: What outcome do I want from this feedback?
• Invite dialogue—feedback should spark reflection, not just compliance.
• Follow up—growth is a process, not a one-off comment.

🗣️ Favorite Quotes

• “Feedback is not about making yourself feel good for saying it. It’s about the other person being able to use it.”
• “Clarity is kindness. Vagueness is not compassion—it’s avoidance.”
• “If you can’t say it clearly, you haven’t thought it through enough.”